So this Monday was the end of my maternity leave. Back to work, schedules, real clothing (not comfy clothes), and handing off my sweet Alice to the lovely folks at daycare. I knew that the drop off would be difficult...it turned out to be so much harder than I ever imagined.

Then I returned to work....I had to remember all kinds of stuff. Important things that I need to know for day to day work, but these were things that I had forgotton on my 3 month long vaca. Monday proved to be super difficult. I missed baby Alice so much. She is the joy of my life. Yes we have our tough days and it is sometimes exhausting. OK it is always exhausting. I would love to sleep for 6 hours straight. But regardless I don't know why I was so afraid to have a child. She is so worth it. She is the most important person in my life. I called to check on her about 4 times, and saw her at lunch. She was fine..I on the other hand was a wreck.

When my day was finally complete I went to pick her up. I felt like she had this blank look on her face like "where the hell have you been". All I did Monday night was hold her. Until about 7:30 when I was just exhausted. So I passed her off to Tyler so I could get some much needed sleep. Which then brought me to a fresh set of tears on Tuesday when I realized that I had spent a total of 4 or 5 waking hours of the day with her. She is growing so fast and I know I am missing it by only being with her for a few short hours a day.

Anyway that is how our first week is going. She's doing great..I am a complete mess tortured by guilt, sleeplessness, anger at the fact that I have to go to work, and missing my sweet girl so much.

My maternity leave was awesome and I loved every minute with my punky loo whoo!